WEDDING GODDESS ®

January 1, 1970

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Congratulations to all you newly engaged brides, and to all of you who are revving up for wedding planning in this New Year! Here are my top 8 tips for a smoother trip to the altar. Why eight? Because it represents infinity, and a love that will go on forever. As you continue your wedding planning, or if you are just embarking on your journey toward the altar, remember:

1. Establish boundaries from the start: Some brides get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the pressure and expectations of those around her. You will not be able to please everyone or manage everyone’s emotions. Focus on managing your own … and being true to yourself. It’s your wedding, not your mom’s, sister’s, or your maid of honor’s.

2. Stay close to your groom: You will cut your stress in half if you two remain a united team. You won’t see eye to eye on all things … but you must stand together and back each other up when it comes to making decisions. When well-meaning-but-meddling relatives try to sway you, stay strong and hold on tight to one another!

3. Savor the small stuff: From the day you become engaged, to the moment you say “I do” make every moment count. Savor even the little things you do to make your wedding special. Keep the focus that the Big Day is a sacred day. It is not just a party that needs planning … it is a marriage that you are preparing for. All these little things along the way are helping you to prepare.

4. When stressed, do something “un-wedding”: When you feel the stress building, take time out, go for a walk, slip into a movie, get a massage, take a soothing hot bath, go for a manicure, write in a journal, meditate, or listen to music. You have to love, honor and cherish yourself!

5. Own up to your real feelings: The details of planning, and the sometimes blinding stress that comes along with it, are often a diversion from the feelings related to the big commitment you are making. Fear and occasional panic are not uncommon. Embrace these feelings. Explore them. They are completely normal. There is dying of the old that happens with the creation of the new. It is part of the cycle of life.

6. Be prepared to manage your time on your wedding day: Nothing is more flustering to a bride than running late on your wedding day. Create a time line that includes everything from your morning coffee, to leaving for the ceremony, and stick as close to it as possible. Take control of time on your wedding day so that it does not add stress to the natural butterflies in the tummy.

7. Stay present: Don’t risk missing it all, or remembering it as a blur, because you were too busy agonizing over the details and the drama. Trust that your wedding will unfold as it meant to be; and that it will be perfect for you. If you can stay present – rather than worrying or dazing out -- you can look one another in the eyes at the wedding altar and remember the power of that moment!

8. Remember the gift at the end of the aisle: If you at any time feel confused … or concerned that your lips are quivering as you try to smile … or worried that you seem too stiff or are walking to fast … or wondering if you will be so overwhelmed by the attention that you will falter … just look up and he’ll be there. Every bride says that nervousness subsides when she realized true love awaits her, and she sees that love in the eyes of her husband-to-be as he awaits her at the wedding altar.

With blessings,

Rev. Laurie Sue

© 2007 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, all rights reserved

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is one of New York's leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiants. She serves couples of all backgrounds, cultures and religions, and helps them celebrate their love with a highly personalized ceremony. She is known for her warm, loving, and creative approach to blessing couples in love. Rev. Laurie Sue is also a widely recognized bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of "WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss" (Perigee Books, May 2005). www.WeddingGoddess.com.

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